SIck and tired

Today is my 2nd day of my unpaid leave(off day). Tomoro is my team's off day so i'm automatically off too. 3 consecutive off days I should be extremely happy but too bad i'm sick. Having mild fever and flu. I Hate flu!! Makes my head spin and ache. Was pretty useless and unproductive today, bed was my only destination and sleeping was my only activity today.

I'm sick also becoz of this job. Goin out to do sales under the afternoon scorching sun and suddenly the rain god took over the sky. No amount of water comsumption was suffice to maintain my health. Now. I'm finally sick and the leader's not happy about it. Ex leader. Oh he's stil pretty much in command. Bcoz we'r doing sales together in a place and my new leader seems inferior to him. She still acknowledged him as leader so we followed. Of coz he still acted as the team leader in front of everybody.I was not feeling well at all after dinner at northam beach cafe and this ex leader was not helping at all. That night my colleague resigned. And its hot topic to my boss n ex leader.My boss n ex leader always dislike my ex-colleague. HE was tryin to make me say bad things about my colleague so that our leader-worker r'ship can be improved. I always dislike to talk about other people. Not to mention I've already rejected him twice last week in the office when he wanted to gossip about my colleague. By nodding blindly at his lectures and questions he kept throwing words at me whilst I was starin at his forehead thinking 'How can i turn this nasty brain off'. 

I'm fine with all this workplace ups and downs but recently I've fall sick I felt that I'm struggling to fit myself into all these again.Tolerance and patience has reached its limit as my body's immune system crumbles down.

I'm in dilemma. I felt that i'm wasting my talents, time and energy doing this job. I cant really learn anything practically benificial from this job. My pride starting to resurface everyday at work questioning the value of my work versus the outcome. Just because i dont wana lose all my hard earned commisions if i resigned, I kept my mindset straight and continue to work without dignity. Is it worth it? How much money does my pride cost??none. Exactly and I've proven to myself that i'm able to handle and face the tough challenges presented to me(so far) .And this challenge is new to me, came home everyday mentally and physically exhausted just to prove a point. Wht point? surviving at work.

Question, Am I that desperate to claim all my commisions before I quit?? I felt like letting it go but my money-craving-self wont allow me to do so. Apart from the $ issue I would also like to prove to the condescending boss that I can survive for one month. Struggling begins.

Happy events.

Yesterday Aus uni open day in trader's. WEnt wif a fren of mine and straightaway applied for 4 universities. UW, UNSW, UA, and UQ. Good news.My fren told me that my application to UOEC has been completed. I'm looking forward for the SBU(Stony Brook Uni)'s offer letter. New york. I wana go new york!