SIck and tired

Today is my 2nd day of my unpaid leave(off day). Tomoro is my team's off day so i'm automatically off too. 3 consecutive off days I should be extremely happy but too bad i'm sick. Having mild fever and flu. I Hate flu!! Makes my head spin and ache. Was pretty useless and unproductive today, bed was my only destination and sleeping was my only activity today.

I'm sick also becoz of this job. Goin out to do sales under the afternoon scorching sun and suddenly the rain god took over the sky. No amount of water comsumption was suffice to maintain my health. Now. I'm finally sick and the leader's not happy about it. Ex leader. Oh he's stil pretty much in command. Bcoz we'r doing sales together in a place and my new leader seems inferior to him. She still acknowledged him as leader so we followed. Of coz he still acted as the team leader in front of everybody.I was not feeling well at all after dinner at northam beach cafe and this ex leader was not helping at all. That night my colleague resigned. And its hot topic to my boss n ex leader.My boss n ex leader always dislike my ex-colleague. HE was tryin to make me say bad things about my colleague so that our leader-worker r'ship can be improved. I always dislike to talk about other people. Not to mention I've already rejected him twice last week in the office when he wanted to gossip about my colleague. By nodding blindly at his lectures and questions he kept throwing words at me whilst I was starin at his forehead thinking 'How can i turn this nasty brain off'. 

I'm fine with all this workplace ups and downs but recently I've fall sick I felt that I'm struggling to fit myself into all these again.Tolerance and patience has reached its limit as my body's immune system crumbles down.

I'm in dilemma. I felt that i'm wasting my talents, time and energy doing this job. I cant really learn anything practically benificial from this job. My pride starting to resurface everyday at work questioning the value of my work versus the outcome. Just because i dont wana lose all my hard earned commisions if i resigned, I kept my mindset straight and continue to work without dignity. Is it worth it? How much money does my pride cost??none. Exactly and I've proven to myself that i'm able to handle and face the tough challenges presented to me(so far) .And this challenge is new to me, came home everyday mentally and physically exhausted just to prove a point. Wht point? surviving at work.

Question, Am I that desperate to claim all my commisions before I quit?? I felt like letting it go but my money-craving-self wont allow me to do so. Apart from the $ issue I would also like to prove to the condescending boss that I can survive for one month. Struggling begins.

Happy events.

Yesterday Aus uni open day in trader's. WEnt wif a fren of mine and straightaway applied for 4 universities. UW, UNSW, UA, and UQ. Good news.My fren told me that my application to UOEC has been completed. I'm looking forward for the SBU(Stony Brook Uni)'s offer letter. New york. I wana go new york!

The turning point

YES! today is the best day for me since the first day of work.First time ever all the members of the sales team working with smiles. Even though I have no sales today but i'm still extremely delighted.Moved to Light street digi store today. And guess wht i did today? We sales team work as indonesian maids cleaning the entire shop coz its abandoned for months. Our Boss said that there wil be indonesian maids coming over to clean it soon so we'r just here to see the shop's condition. When the boss's gone, Still under my BRILLIANT Ex leader, sales team do it for the maids. This has taken up half the day and we all ended up pumping and tying balloons for shop deco.But after the breaking news, we were all happy ducks. (DIGI's animal logo).THis is because I got a NEW leader. I'm not under the same useless leader anymore. Let me have a brief intro about my ex leader to giv u some impression bout him. 

First of all, he seems nice when we all get to know each other in the beginning.But as time passes by, his show his true colors. He often(everyday several times) scolds his gf, which is the new leader, in front of the sales team AND infront of everybody(just to show that he is the leader at work). This makes everybody pity his gf and cant stand the leader. FOund out that his gf is supressed by him all the way. I'l explain that part later. He is incapable of leading the team and ALWAYS gives us orders and scolds us over some small matter stuffs(jus to show that he is the leader).How incapable?He uses all kinds of lies to show his superiority and we all in the sales team know that. OK. that's work.

Lets come to his personal life. HE has a WIFE(china gurl) who is staying wif him. And he has this gf working with him. Based on wht i heard, he forced his gf to give him all her ic, handphones, license,atm cards and all her money. SO somehow he has absolute control over her. TOday in the car, she was suffering from all those crazy scoldings again on the phone, and she passed me the phone secretly in the midst of the scoldings,and  I heard, "You now follow wht i said, FOLLOW WHT I SAY OK, I'M SORRY.I WONT DO THAT AGAIN NEXT TIME.SORRY.I HAVE NO BRAINS.MY BRAIN IS NOTHING BUT SHIT.' and the gf followed exactly every word. 

WTF.He knew that me and my colleague was in the car and he purposely did that(to show his leadership superiority). and the reason why she kena scolded? becoz he was in bad mood and he used fetching colleague as the reason to scold her being other ppl's driver.THis is only one of the thousand scoldings daily which make nearby ppl speechless.

FAct 1, the girl knows he got a wife. wanted to breakup but he got her everything and he threatened her badly. She got nobody to back her up so she quietly OBEYS his every command. EVEN BEATINGS.

Fact 2, the girl chooses to obey him at work becoz she's afraid she cant continue working for the rest of the day coz he's the leader.

Fact3, he'l call her whenver he's free coz he's using company's demo line which is free. Which makes her a slave to him.

Fact4, He's the leader coz most of his sales come from his gf. His gf is indeed an excellent salesperson and he takes almost all the sales from her.

LAst Fact, He is only 23 but the girl is already 26.

This has caused a great repercussion in the DSS(digi specialised store). The females has started to take this to accuse and question all the males about their loyalty and how they treat their gf and stuffs. Some of the female extremist would say all the males are the same. TURN LESBIAN THEN! OH Man!! This ex leader of mine sure is a disgrace to all males in the world!!

So, today when the boss announces that she's the new leader, we all were delighted,but we didnt show it out coz he was there. And why she'l become the new leader?? all thanks to working politics. Anyway my job as sales consultant will be smoother starting from today.

Future psychologist's part time job

So far so bad. Weather is totally helping in ruining my work now and then. 

First day colleague's tyre punctured when I was in his car. 5th day, which is 2day, bumper-kiss accident when I was in his car. WHt's coming up next? I cant wait to see.

How I wish I am agoraphobic.

Damn. Now I know running for sales alone is much much more stress than study for finals.

And so~ I'm regretting over my I'm-notgonaquitwithoutgettingpaidfor13hours-work decision. 24days to go.To hell wif digi. 2mr offday so not counted in. 

Why continue ur job if u hate it so much??Good quest. here comes my rationalisation..

This job can help me have a better understanding of human nature, stereotypes, societal norms and lotss more.

This job trains me to lower my self esteem. Always have a low self-esteem even though ur smarter than the leader or even the boss. 

This job helps me to challenge myself whether in terms of courage, communication skills, how 2 deal with rejectionzz and how to motivate myself and others to do something.

THis same shitty job even helps me build up my self confidence when talking to malays! damn!!!my malay sucks.

See how powerful is rationalization? I'm awestruck by it also.

I'm indeeed, amazed and truely salute those ppl who can deal wif rejections everyday. Imagine U've been turned down 200 times daily.Its not easy talking to strangers and have strangers listening to you attentively. If ur not properly motivated and have a considerably amount of self-worthy, u'll suffer from emotional and morale breakdown for sure. Not everybody can handle this. And for those who can handle that with ease is just simply awesome.

Agree wif me?? Salute me then.

A future psychologist working as sales consultant in digi masquerading as a fall out college student planning venue and tactics for the sales team and serves as the advisor to the leader of the sales team. Its too good to be true(for digi) and too bad they will only realise the fact when I see their jaws drop next month upon resignation. So long now.

-I'm awesome-